Husband Files Missing Person Report
Gilbert Parsons went to the police station to file a "missing person" report for his missing wife, this is a true transcript of his conversation with the police officer.
Husband: I lost my wife Gale, she went shopping at Macy's and hasn't come back yet.
Officer: How tall is she?
Husband: I never checked.
Officer: Slim or healthy?
Husband: Not slim, can be healthy.
Officer: What colour are Gale's eyes?
Husband: Never noticed.
Officer: Colour of her hair?
Husband: That changes according to season.
Officer: What was she wearing?
Husband: Not sure whether it was a dress or a suit.
Officer: Was she driving?
Officer: Colour of the car? . . . . .
Husband: Silver Ford Focus Zetec 1.6 engine, automatic drive, 2013 plate. Scratch on the offside driver's panel, crack in the front headlight ....... and then the husband started crying .....
Officer: Don't worry sir ... we will find your car.
Mahatma Gandhi and Professor WilsonFamous Put Downs - L'Esprit d'escalier
When Gandhi was studying law at the University College of London, a white professor, whose last name was Wilson, disliked him intensely and always displayed prejudice and animosity towards him.
Also, because Gandhi never lowered his head when addressing him, as he expected ... there were always "arguments" and confrontations.
One day, Professor Wilson was having lunch at the dining room of the University, and Gandhi came along with his tray and sat next to the professor. The professor said, "Mr Gandhi, you do not understand. A pig and a bird do not sit together to eat."
Gandhi looked at him as a parent would a rude child and calmly replied, "You do not worry professor. I'll fly away," and he went and sat at another table.
Professor Wilson, reddened with rage, decided to take revenge on the next test paper, but Gandhi responded brilliantly to all questions. Professor Wilson, unhappy and frustrated, asked him the following question. "Mr Gandhi, if you were walking down the street and found a package, and within one was a bag of wisdom and another bag with a lot of money, which one would you take?"
Without hesitating, Gandhi responded,"The one with the money, of course."
Professor Wilson, smiling sarcastically said, "I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom, don't you think?"
Gandhi shrugged indifferently and responded,"Each one takes what he doesn't have."
Professor Wilson, by this time was fit to be tied. So great was his anger that he wrote on Gandhi's exam sheet the word "Idiot" and gave it to Gandhi. Gandhi took the exam sheet and sat down at his desk trying very hard to remain calm while he contemplated his next move.
A few minutes later, Gandhi got up, went to the professor and said to him in a dignified but sarcastically polite tone, "Professor Wilson, you signed the sheet, but you did not give me the grade."