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Da noch keine Antwort kam... hier mein nichtmuttersprachlicher Versuch:
She haven't even had time to get over the loss of her sister when the family had to face another stroke of fate. She tried to be there for everyone around her, putting (oder: and put) their needs before her own, and the inevitable happened...
(der Schluss geht sicher noch besser, ich würde auch einen separaten Satz daraus machen.)
she haven't --> she hasn't
würde ich sagen. Ich persönlich fände auch "when fate dealt her another blow" schöner, aber das ist Geschmackssache.
I find the sentences a bit confusing though. The shift from "her" to "the family" and back again plus the tense in the second sentence (Wasn't "she" the one diffectly affected by the second fateful blow, or was that a third blow?). I thought it might mean:
Before she had even had time to process the loss of her sister, another tragedy struck her family. She had been trying to be there for everyone, always putting their needs before her own, and the inevitable happened.
Ich hätte automatisch "didn't have time" gesagt. Wäre das falsch, oder ginge das auch?
Edith meint, ich solle nicht so doofe Fragen stellen; das würde hier ersichtlich nicht richtig sein.
re. #5 - you could use "didn't have time" if you use "before", it just won't work with the OP's "when".
She didn't even have time to ... before fate dealt another blow.
She hadn't even had time... when fate...
Either way, though, if the time in which she was placing other people's needs in front of her own came before the second blow, you have to use the past perfect or past perfect continuous in the second sentence.
Might be too late, but:
She hadn't even had time to process the loss of her sister when her family was struck by another misfortune/tragedy/ blow of fate. (Gibson is 100% correct here, dealt a blow of fate is much more elegant than stroke; the standard pairings are "blow of fate" or "stroke of misfortune").
I can't speak for the 'correctness' of the German here, but the 'when' is necessary in English to avoid an unseemly comma splice (as in the OP). I think German is more forgiving about this than English is.
#4, #9: Mir gefällt "process" auch besser als "get over". "Get over" hat hier etwas unangebracht Oberflächliches -- als müsste es nach einer bestimmten Zeit auch mal gut sein mit der Trauer.
#10 I don't much like "process", it sounds a bit formal. I prefer "come to terms with".